


Broken Promises

by SilentSlayer



Series: The Gwen That Broke the Lion's Heart [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Death, Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, I'm not good at tagging, Insanity, Mental Breakdown, Suicide Attempt, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:57:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5590522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSlayer/pseuds/SilentSlayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She said she would return to him, and now she's gone. The one thing Cullen Rutherford loved most never returned from the final battle with Corypheus. He has spent his years rebuilding Thedas and has created a sanctuary for lyrium-addicted Templars. He's tired, and he's ready to forget forever. <br/>Cassandra has stayed behind to watch over her friend but she knows he is close to breaking. She watches over him steadfast, waiting until the end</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Promises

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eternal_Garbage_of_a_Spotless_Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Garbage_of_a_Spotless_Mind/gifts).



“Cullen…” Gwen sighed out his name as fingertips teased the stubble of his jaw. He reached up to swipe the auburn hair from her eyes before pulling her in for a kiss. 

_ So soft, so warm. Burning for her. Never enough.  _

She rested her head on his shoulder, and his arm wrapped protectively around her. 

_ Such happiness. Contentment.  _

A gentle breeze teased the surface of the lake, and they laid near the dock where he had offered her his lucky coin. 

_ Precious time away from our duties. So little for just us.   _

The momento was in his pocket. She had wanted him to keep it, said he needed it. He had to stay safe. She needed him to live.

_ Said she couldn’t live without me. Couldn’t bear the thought.  _

Somewhere in his mind, he knew it wasn’t real. He couldn’t fight it though, and he savored his stolen moment in a future he couldn’t have.

_ It should have been mine. She was MINE.  _

“My love, you have to listen to me.” There was distress in her voice, and something dark clutched his heart. 

_ Maker no. Not again. It was so perfect.  _

He saw sadness on her face. A tear leaked out and he wiped it away. There was no reason to cry, they were together now. 

_ Til death do us part. I never got to say those words.  _

“Shh...it will be alright.” He wanted to hold onto this forever. She was the only thing he would ever need. 

_ Need, want, crave. Her, only her, for all eternity. _

“It’s killing you Cullen. The lyrium...you promised me. I’m not worth it.” She sobbed, and he crushed her to him as he buried his face in her hair. Maker’s breath, it was all so real. He could even smell the soft lavender of her skin.

_ She was worth everything, and nothing now.  _

She drifted away, and he ached from the loss of flesh against flesh. He reached for her, but she was always just outside his grasp. 

_ Forever unobtainable, giving herself to a higher cause. Leaving me nothing but anguish. _

“Gwen please, you said you would never leave me.”

_ Promises. So many broken promises. _

“And I never will, Cullen. I am always right here.” She pointed to his heart as a sad smile crossed her face. The scene began to blur, and the last thing he saw was those grey eyes pleading with him.  

_ Please, my love, don’t go.  _

“I did what had to be done...”

 

The Commander woke with a start, sweat pouring off him. His shirt was soaked, and he threw the garment into the corner. His skin felt tight, muscles knotted from tension. He grasped the vial as the blue liquid disappeared. 

It was cool, like the breeze at the Winter Palace that night. She asked for a dance, and was delighted as he took her hand. 

_ My beautiful Inquisitor, and now she’s gone. _

Hands ran through his disheveled hair. Alone for so long, too long without her at his side. Fire spread through his limbs and he gave himself fully to the lyrium.

_ She said she was here, but I can’t feel her anymore. I can barely remember… _

Her grabbed the picture from his nightstand. Memories were being lost more often, and it was a sorrowful reprieve. If only he could forget that beautiful face.

He eyed the box beside his bed. Seven, that’s how many doses he had. Seven should be enough to do it. He clutched her picture to his chest as he downed what was left of his sanity. 

It wasn’t long until the screaming started, her name falling from his lips. He greeted the madness as a friend, and prayed he never walked back out. 

*****

Cassandra stalked the halls of the Templar Sanctuary. Cullen had built this himself, situated outside the main fortress of Skyhold. He had been desperate to leave those walls he had shared with Gwen, but could never get too far away from his past. It was a safe haven for Templars who lost their minds to the lyrium. A place that would soon become his prison.

‘Too many memories,’ he had once admitted. 

Thank the Maker, it was a quiet night. Stress sat heavy on her shoulders, and worry sank in her heart. The Seeker spent much of her days here lately. She saw him growing worse. Her abilities were a blessing and a curse. She sensed that his breaking point was near, and she couldn’t abandon him.

He barely ate, rarely slept. He was a shell of his former self. The Lion, once proud Commander of the Inquisition, could do little more than hallucinate about his lost love. It was sickening to see that gaunt look in his eyes as he called Gwen’s name. He was rarely lucid now.

Even with so much grief surrounding her, tonight Cassandra’s focus was on her own sacrifices. Gwen had wanted her to be Divine, but she turned it down. Leliana became Divine Victoria, and together they had healed the wounds of Thedas.

Cullen had been stronger then. The blue flame made him even more formidable in battle, but he started forgetting more as years passed. He spent days in his room, howling like an abomination. Even Cole could not help him now.

More duties had fallen on Cassandra’s shoulders. She took them on in stride. It kept her busy, and when she was busy it didn’t hurt so much. Some wounds never healed.

Eight years, eight long lonely desolate years had passed. No one had expected him to survive this long, let alone have some piece of his sanity left. She had never seen someone consume so much lyrium and still be coherent. Only a will as indomitable as his could withstand. 

_ I wish Varric were here. _

The thought slid in unbidden, and she would never tell the dwarf how often she thought of him.

Viscount Tethras wrote to her often, spinning wild tales of new adventures. She had promised to come see him, one day.

Almost everyone was gone. Only Cole remained after Skyhold became little more than a pilgrimage site. His powers were invaluable when dealing with the broken men in the Sanctuary. 

Cassandra paused at the door to Cullen’s office, and she debated on checking in on him. Her hand rose to knock at the door, and she jumped as the screams started. 

“COLE!” The door burst open as she called for the Rogue. He appeared out of thin air, and she heard the running footsteps of healer’s and Chantry sisters. 

The Lion held a picture, a gift from Varric on the first anniversary of Gwen’s death. The painting was an exact likeness, and she had almost killed the dwarf when Cullen disappeared for a week afterwards.

“We need to restrain him!” The command fell from her lips, and a flurry of movement produced several cords of rope and a gag. This was not the first time someone had broken, and it would not be the last. 

They drug him off to somewhere safe. She couldn’t let him be seen like this. He deserved better than that.

His cries were muffled by the gag, but would haunt Cassandra for the rest of her life. His eyes had been wild as he fought against his bindings, and a tear slipped out as she realized he was gone forever this time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I may do one more dark chapter for Gwen Trevelyan/ Cullen Rutherford. Will leave this series open in case more plot bunnies come.  
> This was inspired again by Garbage and he awesome angst. Love you chick.  
> To everyone who leaves comments and kudos, you are awesome never forget that.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


End file.
